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icelaser
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Name: ice/something else
Gender: Male
Interests: Technology in general I guess you could say. And health care and business... Astronomy too... Space...
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Member Since:
1/7/2004
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| First off, I'd like to say, that apparently I have been part of xanga for something like 4 1/2 years, which means I was part of this... Eh, in 2003ish. Seems like just a few days ago, right?
Second, I'm getting to what I've been up to.
I've been doing hardly anything. But that isn't true, because I have. I just feel like i haven't done anything worthwhile recently. Been doing football stuff nearly this whole week, since I am playing this fall... I have a love/hate relationship with squats and bench presses. There isn't much more rewarding for me then to say I squatted a bunch of weight today, or I benched a bunch of weight today, but at the same time, I don't enjoy it while I do it.
Today while doing squats (we were doing two different kinds.. Like, I dunno how to explain it, but yeah.) they go "oh, no, don't do it like that. If you do it like that, you'll kill your knees." Well, I appreciate the tip, because I'd hate to do that, but thats always encouraging... "You'll mess up your knees really bad if you do this." Obviously, they are teaching me the right way. What responsible athletic team would do any different? Probably the more alarming thing was when one guy goes "Oh, don't squat like that... You're fine for now, but when you start doing more weight, you'll break your back. And thats bad." My first thought was a half sincere thanks. I mean, I was sincerely thankful... Its just not a happy thing, at the same time. My second thought was "no duh, breaking your back isn't a good thing." but I knew he wasn't meaning to be stupid about it, or suggest I am stupid, he was just stating what would happen. No harm in that, right?
Anyway, we drove all around the area today getting me a new cellphone (I use cellphones like computers: I depend on them, and know that inevitably, when I need them most, they will fail on me, unless I replace them regularly, even before they are 'all worn out.'), cleats and... Yeah, I guess those were the main things. I got a new cellphone, it'll take some getting used to the new software, but before too long I should know my way around. I'm glad it has bluetooth and a camera, unlike my last phone. We went to a few stores in the mall trying to track down some cleats (I wear size 18, I thought going up to a 19 wouldn't necessarily be a bad idea if I could try some on to see how they feel.) One store goes "oh yeah, we get in some pretty big sizes. 11s, 12s..." "Oh, so, no 18s?" "Um... no... we've never had shoes that big in this store." "oh, well, I'm wearing some..." "no way! lemme see those feet!"
The next store was kind of proud and assured that they had what we needed. They stocked big shoes, all the way up to 15s! "No 18s or 19s huh?" "umm... no..." "ok, it was worth a shot. Thanks."
Finally we ended up going to a major athletic shoe companies store that was in the area. They weren't sure they had any, but the extremely helpful sales people (I'm used to hovering, annoying ones, or ones that don't really care about you or helping you.) one of who was an interior linemen for a fairly local college, so that was cool. Fact of the matter is, I was taller then he was. Come to think of it, I could probably play for them in college if I wanted to. But I don't want to. There is almost no chance of going pro there, and if I am going to play football in college, it would probably be for the chance to go pro. Anyhow, they were sure they didn't have any above size 15, and we (meaning, my dad and I) informed him that we had seen 16s, but we really needed at least 18s. So, they looked for 18s. And found some. I tried 'em on, they fit and fit pretty well actually, and then we looked at the price. $5. Yeah. So I called one of my coaches, and asked him if they would be ok to go ahead and get. We were talking it out over the phone in the fairly noisy store, and finally I said "they're on clearance to $5." and he said "$5?" all shocked sounding. "Yeah, $5." "Get them, definitely." "Ok." So, we were going to check out... And we saw a display of gloves.
Now, I had asked to look for some weight lifting gloves so my geeky hands won't get all calloused from the metal handles. Am I sissy? Maybe, but I'm a really big sissy that is moving as much weight in one week as the other guys do, even though they have been training for longer. Anyhow, so we saw a display of gloves, and my dad had said that maybe I should get some gloves as a linemen, and I commented if I ever played tight end (the idea was thrown around that I might occasionally do so) that having gloves to help catch the ball might be helpful. So, we got two pair of gloves.
Here comes the funny part. We were checking out, and it all came to around $50ish with tax. What does that mean? It means we spent nearly 9 times the amount on gloves that we did on cleats. It should be the otherway around, really, at least I would think so.
So, I now have football cleats in my posession. I am quite happy. I have no idea how long they will last, or if I will end up using them in the actual season (I really should be wearing hightop cleats for my position, but we couldn't find any of those in the color(s) that I absolutely have to have.) but we figured for $5, it was worth the risk.
We also found some shoes that I can wear to school. You see, at this point in time, I have shoes made for basketball more or less. And they're yellow. That isn't allowed in dresscode. However, the shoes we found today, are, becaues they are white and blue. So at some point we are going to go back and get those, I think. They even had them up to 21, but I really hope and pray that I never get a foot that big. I hoped and prayed not to get a size 15 foot (I started freaking at size 14...) and here I am, at size 18. I'm convinced my foot is stopped growing. Some people thing otherwise, and some people agree with me. I'm not sure what to think. I just hope that it doesn't grow any more.
In addition, we went to a used book store, and I finished out my collection of Tom Clancy written books. None of this 'created by Tom Clancy and *insert name here*' junk. Stuff written by Mr. Clancy himself. So, I am excited. I think we (and we, once again, being my dad and I) paid $8 for them, which is pretty good... For 8 books, most exceeding 400 pages, at least one 1000+ pages. Now, to be totally truthful, I already had one, but my mom got it for free (although in bad shape) but the back had fallen off, so, I wanted a new copy because... Yeah. So, I figured it would be a fairly good use of $0.50, especially since I haven't finished the book yet.
So, my life has been interesting. I'm kind of looking forward to school starting, and I kind of am not. One of those love/hate relationships again, right?
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| #1. Yes, I am writing in this blog again. But not very often. Mostly because I DO have another blog or two, however I rarely write about personal issues if I write generally at all. Depending on my mood, it is either spiritual "ah ha!" moments or commentary about current news.
#2. I just tried to use the new Xanga interface or whatever. It is horribly confusing if you ask me. I have no idea how new it is, but I have never seen it, before they were like "guys guys guys! Check out our awesome interface" right as I logged in. So yeah.
#3. I'm confused.
Some of you may or may not know that I have considered a medical career in the past. I have never been 100 % sure what role I wanted, except I knew I wanted to be in emergency/life or death situations/surgery, which the last may include the other 2 as well. So tonight I started doing google searches on how long an ER doctor is in school, including pre-med. The answer: 13 years. Now, they aren't in school all that time, they are doing internships and residencies, etc., near the end. However, from my understanding, anything other then As and Bs is unacceptable, and that includes tests. I am not a great test taker. I do fine just run of the mill, "this is the problem, now answer it" but tests I don't do so great on.
So I turned my sites (sights? I don't even know, and at this point, I don't care, because I should be in bed.) to other things, more specifically, surgery. You look at me and go "haha, you're an idiot. You think surgery would take less time and would be easier?" Well, possibly. But I then I stumbled upon something that seemed to fit my idea of what I'd like to do kind of like a glove: Trauma surgeon. Someone is dieing, you've gotta fix 'em, and it is pretty much a life or death situation. Thats something I can get behind. Not "Oh, I want to be a doctor to help people and save peoples lives, and I am willing to give away any hope of a life for 13 years for it." to, "Yeah, I'm saving peoples lives, and I would be saving it LIKE THIS." When you have a goal, and know what you're shooting for, then I think it is easy to obtain that goal.
I still have no idea what I want to do. To be honest, I could get nursing creds. and get to do some of what I would like to do in half the time (or less, really) and there wouldn't be as much riding on my decisions. On the other hand, doctors make $125k+ a year, which I understand is because medschool and insurance is so much, but you can't tell me that they don't have a fair amount of money stocked away after 5 years. These aren't dumb people.
So then I decided I would consider something outside of a medical career. At that point, the whole world of possibilities open up. There are only a few things that I think I would be interested in doing, but there are still those few things. Something to do with either business/accounting at large, or investments. If not that, then the ole standby of law enforcement. Then the thing that I would just love to do, is be paid to travel around the world and take pictures of stuff, I guess thats kind of my dream job. I'm not sure I'd like to be away from my wife for a long time though, assuming I was married.
I guess the issue all comes down to this: I see too many people who have sold their life to their job. Sure, they're home occasionally, but they're working half the time they're home anyway. Maybe thats just the way the world is these days, but thats not how I want to be. Maybe I'm chasing a pipe dream, after all, if it was possible, more people would do it, right?
So, let me lay out what I would like in a job, and maybe people can make some suggestions. Granted, all of these kind of reflect jobs I have talked about I think, but maybe someone will have a great comment that'll help a lot. So, things I want in a job:
I want to be able to enjoy it. Thats the photography. I'm a little wary of combining a job and a hobby though. I'd also like to save lives. Thats kind of the healthcare aspect. What would be more rewarding then someone bursting through the ER doors dieing, and them surviving to live on for quite some time, thanks to you and your medical team's heroic efforts?
I'd like to have some time at home, with my family. When I am single, I have no issue with working a lot of the time, as long as I still get to go to church fairly often. But when I am married and have kids, I am not interested in being gone all the time. Thats a little bit what got me off a law enforcement track. Law enforcement doesn't get paid great, so they often work extra jobs. And thats fine, except that if I worked another job or two, I would have very very little time at home or at church. Time to sleep, time to eat, basically thats it. Thats not what I want. Business careers get paid reasonably well, with reasonably little schooling compared to other jobs. Problem: Business careers require a huge huge amount of commitment, so I might end up spending more time then I'd like away from home anyway.
The better paid, the better. I'd hate to be in a job for the money, but honestly, if I can work a job for a while and get enough money saved away that I can 'retire early', who wouldn't do that? Business and healthcare are these paths. The issue with business is, you kinda have to be lucky to be with the right people at the right time, or be willing to backstab. I'm not willing to backstab, and while I'm lucky, I'm only lucky in games, not especially lucky in real life. So, healthcare. Well, as I have been over, it pays decently, but the amazing pay comes after spending 15ish years in medical school and things required afterward. At that point, it seems possible to me to have 500k-1million in debts, in which case your 250-500k pay (before taxes and medicare and social security...) will take a while to whittle down, especially if you make 250k and have been in college/medschool/residencies and internships for 10 years. Bills have got to stack up. If you could possibly save 100k of a 250k salary every year, and use the 100k to pay off bills, you'd still be at it for 10-20 years, depending on how high they were. Naturally, I don't know how expensive medschool is or any of that, but it'll be plenty expensive, I can assure you that. So, that being said, healthcare isn't a great idea to 'make a lot and retire early.'
What about photography though? Well, like I have mentioned above, I'd hate to be leaving all the time, but at the same time, its kind of a dream to do stuff like that. I suppose National Geographic or something pays photographers, but I don't know if they pay them to run around the world taking pictures of some of the coolest stuff ever. At the same time, it seems like they might, and it seems like something I might enjoy.
What about Journalism? I've considered that, in passing. I never talked about it above, but what about being a reporter or something? With enough time invested, I could probably be a reporter that gets to do some world traveling, (taking pictures for myself when I am not busy, no doubt) and I would also get to be at the scene of major things happening. At the same time, its never really been something I could just get excited about, or something I feel like I would necessarily be made for.
So what does that leave me? Well, thats the question. I want something where I am able to be home every night with my kids for a few hours, but I'd preferably not have to worry too much about money. Obviously, money will always be an issue, but a good salary would help, right? What about something I enjoy? Well, I haven't worked full time yet (well, I haven't worked at all, in an 'official' job.) but I kinda wonder if I could retire after 5-10 years, if it would matter if it was something I enjoyed.
Another issue is, what can I use for the betterment of mankind? Depends on your definition, I guess. Every thing I am considering could be used/donated to help people, but I really think that healthcare would be the most useful. To me, everything spells healthcare, but all the school scares me, to tell the truth. Maybe its not the school so much as the huge tax that it would require to get through even one year, then realize I have another 3 in medschool, then another few after that studying for exams and that sort of thing.
Thats the thought process, thousands of words later. Lemme know whatcha think. | | |
| No, I have not. I just don't write blog posts.
Most of my blog posts were... I dunno, "I'm mad at this, or this stinks" kind of posts. And, yeah, life could be better I guess, but life could certainly be worse. I have been blessed with at least a few close friends, and a few friends that are on their way there if I keep working on it. No, I don't tell them EVERYTHING, but I have had some important discussions with them. All that is to say, life is better, and there isn't too much need for blog posts to rant it all out.
The other side of it is, I used to keep a xanga going for the people that I don't talk to on IM or something, or whatever. I dunno. But, most people that read this xanga, (all... 2, even occasionally?) I talk to on MSN/yahoo... Occasionally. So, there isn't much of a need for that.
So, all that is to say, this xanga isn't dead from my perspective. It's just in a coma. Like I said, 2 people read it, if even that many, and I talk to them on IM most of the time. Theres no point in me writing something if almost no one reads it (though, I appreciate those that do) and if I am just going to write something for myself... I can write it in a note book or in a text file. Sometimes xanga gets hit with lyrics from a song, or something I wrote that I think is really awesomeness. But, that hasn't happened much recently.
Thus is life. There are times and seasons for everything. People come, people go, things come, things go. I abandoned xanga one time and I came back, I may come back at another time.
But, until then, I'll leave you with this:
I'll see you on the other side!
The other side of what you ask... I don't know, thats the whole adventure in life :).
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| I feel like we're on the brink of something... Something big.
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| Pillar - Frontline Lyrics
"It's not like I'm walking alone into the valley of the
shadow of death
Stand beside one another, 'cause it ain't over yet
I'd be willing to bet that if we don't back down
You and I will be the ones that are holding the Crown in the end
When it's over, we can say, "Well done"
But not yet, 'cause it's only begun
So, pick up, and follow me, we're the only ones
To fight this thing, until we've won
We drive on and don't look back
It doesn't mean we can't learn from our past
All the things that we mighta done wrong
We could've been doing this all along
Everybody, with your fists raised high
Let me hear your battle cry tonight
Stand beside, or step aside
We're on the frontline
And we'll be carrying on, until the day it doesn't
matter anymore
Step aside, you forgot what this is for
We fight to live, we live to fight
And tonight, you'll hear my battle cry
We live our lives on the frontlines
We're not afraid of the fast times
These days have opened up my eyes
And now, I see where the threat lies
We've got to lead the way" Frontline by Pillar
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